Before The Terrifier became the new ChuckyJasonFreddieMichael it was a 20-minute short film, and before that he was the subject in some OTHER short from 2008 called “The Ninth Circle” and I guess Damien Loeone stitched both shorts together and used it as a slightly-less-short vignette for his full-length movie “All Hallows Eve.” If you’ve seen “All Hallows Eve” then you’ve seen this movie already, but I’m taking a sick day today and have nothing better to do than lay in bed and watch free horror movies on Tubi.
I may have mentioned this before, but Tubi is a bomb streamer. Large catalog of cult and horror, and the commercials aren’t too long and frequent (I’m looking at YOU, Pluto!). Add it to your Roku or your phone or however you watch movies and other streaming content.
So this little bitty movie starts with a gas station and poop on the walls (because Art the Clown loves pooping on the walls of public bathrooms, he’s like a big murderous 4-year-old that way). The cinematography is all color-shifted and has that phony dust-on-the-film look to make it seem like an old 70’s grindhouse exploitation flick. You know what I’m taking about, everyone is doing this now. Art The Clown gets yelled at by the gas station man, so naturally he chops him up with a hacksaw.
The Final-Girl character (more like The Only Girl) spends the next 15 minutes running/driving/crawling away from the scary clown, who always shows up right behind her or right in front of her or in the back seat or the car right next to her, because he’s a magic murder clown who defies all laws of space and time!
Eventually he catches her and does scary clown stuff to her, and then Damien Leone spends the next 15 minutes talking to the audience about what a great movie this was and what a great filmmaker he is and the usual “directors cut with director commentary” stuff that I never watch because I pretty much don’t care. I mean filmmaker types and other movie nerds will get off on that sorta shit, and to them I say Enjoy! I just don’t care. I’m here for the movie and that’s it. Likewise when I go out to dinner I just want my spaghetti and meatballs and don’t need the cook to come over to my table and tell me about all the trials and tribulations he endured while making my pasta dish and getting the meatballs the correct amount of round. Good for you, Julia Child, now go back to the kitchen and whip me up some tiramisu!
It’s a 20-minute indie short, do we need 15 minutes of commentary? I mean maybe, admittedly I didn’t watch it, I may have missed out on some life-shattering info! I tend to think that if “the making-of” is such a good story, they should just make an entire documentary about it and see if it stands up.
It’s a sick-day for me so I watched this in the bedroom, and cats aren’t allowed in the bedroom, because I am a bastard. So Mido just watched it downstairs on her laptop.
