It’s a “Tubi Original!” So that’s a thing, huh? Neat. If you’ve not been told, Tubi is a great free streaming option for watching horror. It came out of nowhere a few years back and now everything is on it. Well not everything, but there’s plenty of horror and cult stuff for the price of nothing… save for some face hostage-taking by way of a normal amount of commercials.
Lowlifes. It begins with the standard nuclear horror family, that of a pushy father, and obliging mother, a dorky son vying for dad’s attention, and a daughter with a cell phone who would rather be with her boyfriend. They’re all off on a rustic road trip, grilling meat and saying prayers and nagging about getting better grades and all that square bullshit. What is the natural enemy of the nuclear horror family on vacation? Yep, you got it – Rednecks! Rednecks always come and ruin the cookout. Fucking rednecks. Why can’t you be out fixing your truck or plowing snow or day-drinking home-made lighter fluid? Gotta mess up the dorks’ picnic.
And before you ask, of course they are unnecessarily hostile and aggressive, and of course they want to fuck the teenage daughter (aka Final Girl) who would rather be with her boyfriend. Why are there never any happy-go-lucky rednecks (besides Tucker and Dale)? Always the angry ones. The type who make fun of your glasses, or your ability to read, angry because you’re from the city or went to college. “I see, you think you’re better’n me ‘cus you bathe, is that it?” Miserable, if this is the folksy “real America” sort then we’re fucked! You need to get with Tucker and Dale!
Standard formula, we already know what’s going to happen… dark road, suddenly there’s headlights behind you. A pickup truck with deer antlers on the hood, suddenly starts to…
…THEN just 16 minutes into the movie my smart ass know-it-all self is put in my place. “You don’t know errathing!” the movie says mockingly.
It’s definitely a story about a psycho cannibal family, out in the deep woods of Wherethefuckistan. Like I always say – nothing good ever happens when you live in the fucking forest! Sex and drugs, no boobs but plenty of eyeball trauma and chopped fingers and stabby and slashy and a couple of smashed up heads and an arrow in the neck and some HoGOGA (that’s “hot girl-on-girl action” for the uninitiated) and a snarky website reviewer who didn’t expect much from this movie who now has to eat his words… and tongue, and fingers, and an eyeball.
Mido was into it. She loves when humans eat other humans.
