It’s now Day 5 of our 30-day horror challenge, and the subject of today is
“The Greatest Horror Movie Villain.“
Unlike Day 3 and Day 4, which were easy to answer, this one is tougher. There are so many fantastic horror villains in the genre. Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Art the Clown, Jigsaw and Chucky come to mind with franchise horror (which is generally based around its key villain as the thing that binds the franchise together). Then there’s your classic Dracula and Frankenstein (yes, the monster, I know, everyone knows, Frankenstein is the doctor not the monster, thank you Carl, now would you let me do my thing here?), Invisible Man, etc. There are those villains that aren’t actual villains but serve as the villainy antagonist, like in The Birds and The Blob and Jaws and The Swarm and Piranha and The Night of the Lepus and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
I’m going to break away from the pack, and declare that the greatest (the challenge specifies “Greatest” not “Favorite”) is the short bug-eyed waddly dude from “Human Centipede 2.”
I can’t remember if that guy even has a name. He’s the sweaty little asthmatic man-baby who waddles around his office, bonking randos on the head to add to his naked people collection.
Okay I googled it up, Martin Lomax is his name. He’s a short, fat, bug-eyed intellectually-disabled parking garage attendant who is obsessed with the original “Human Centipede” movie. His abusive mum is bothered by this obsession, he even has a pet centipede in his bedroom. After killing the owner, he acquired a dumpy warehouse to serve as his diabolical laboratory where he chains up the people he bonks and abducts and nakeds, and prepares them for staplegun-and-duct-tape surgery. He doesn’t speak, just laughs, cries, and mimics poop noises when he orders his subjects to poop. He’s super gross and super hilarious and completely unpolished.
You’re going to disagree with me. You’re gonna say “Wait… THAT guy?” You’re going to doubt the veracity of any post on this website after this, and wonder “Do you even WATCH horrors, my dude?” and assume I’m some sort of cultural neophyte who has no business writing up a website.
Don’t care.