Enjoy watching viscous horror? Like your killers well-lubricated? Ever wonder “why does everyone make milky coffee? Maybe put a little grease in there instead?” Today is your day! You like weird ugly old guys in shiny Speedo underpants? How about weird old ugly guys walking around naked with their schwantz hanging out? What about disco?…
Remember that hilarious movie your college roommate made? The one with stupid props and really forced-sounding character acting? That movie that even public access TV wouldn’t play? This movie was not nearly as good. I accidentally watched the sequel last year (Return to Blood Fart Lake), decided I’d try out the original to see if…
I opened up Tubi and am greeted by the face of a scowling bald black man and written underneath are the words “Bitch Ass.” Now, I don’t know who this guy is, but I must have cut him off in traffic or something, because now he’s on the top of my Tubi app, calling me…
How have I gone so many years not realizing that Cabin In the Woods is not the same movie as Cabin Fever? Somehow that got into my head and so whenever I see that title crawl by as I scroll a streamer’s “Horror” collection I’ll think “Nah, seen that twice already, so many movies I’ve…
I don’t remember where I heard about this one, but after five vanity cards I’m ready to plug into this four-company production (in association with four more companies) known as Slayers. With this many production companies involved I’ll just bet it’s going to be the Citizen Kane of horror comedies! So Slayers are special super…
There’s eight of these? Never heard of it. Have I? Maybe? Well it sucks, so it doesn’t matter. One of those movies where you know immediately you’re going to hate it. From the opening scene, to the opening credits, you know you’re going to hate it. However, I have made a pledge to include a…
Let me preface this by noting that I’ve watched a lot of messed-up stuff. All the Saws, all the Hostels, all Human Centipedes, all the Terrifiers, Salo, A Serbian Film, much of Takashi Miike’s catalog and all the New French Extreme stuff, not to mention plenty of actual snuff (there is some truly messed-up stuff…
Horror comedy starring Gary Busey and a cookie that looks like Gary Busey? I am IN! It’s a 70-minute movie, so even if it stinks the pain will be short-lived. How could this thing suck, though? There’s a Gary Busey cookie! (slaps table for emphasis) A GODDAMNED GARY BUSEY COOKIE!! It’s a shame that they…
…not to be confused with “Grotesque” the 2009 Japanese torture-porn movie. This is a different terrible movie. This is “Grotesque the 2022 Canadian indie horror about a likeable girl with a gigantic nose who has friends that love her and while she’s capable of fixing her freaky nose and getting a different job with fewer…
White trash horror is such a fun subsubgenre, it’s a whole buffet of stereotypes but it’s okay, ’cause they’re white people who didn’t go to college! Norma Sue Twila Jean Marie is a 37-year-old high school student who commits the crime of being pretty in a tin-sided colony of inbred possum-eating hayseeds. She has a…