Noomi Rapace is everyone’s favorite punk rock girl power hero from the early-2000’s “Girl Who Did Badass Stuff” movies. Great movies, great character, and every so often I see her name in something and I think “I should see that, she was badass 20 years ago” but I never do. She’s in this movie, playing…
Category: Survival
Live Animals (2008)
On the positive, this little number has that grimy retro grindhousey feel without feeling like it came out of a box of Tarantino-inspired ready-made video filters. The downside is that it’s a fairly rotten movie. Not worthless, mind you. Of all the shitty horror movies I’ve seen this isn’t the worst offender, it has a…
The Seasoning House (2012)
This movie is about an Eastern European sex gulag, where sweaty long-haired bearded men in leather jackets and lots of necklaces smoke all day in dark and dirty offices, abducting women from Balkan streets and pressing them into prostitution catering to weary soldiers. The head pimp, named Viktor (because of course he is), takes a…
9 Days: Whipped, Chained and Tortured by a Psychopath (2013)
So I finished watching some sort of torture porn’ish movie on one of the streamers, I think it was either Hostel 3 or that other thing I can’t remember the name of right now, and when the movie is over we have the streamer version of the “impulse aisle” where they line up a whole…
TrolledSOS (2024)
More homemade horror on Tubi. Bar is set low, as the no-budget indie stuff is not gonna knock your socks off eight times out of ten, but I’ve been surprised before. I do try to watch a bunch of these, and not completely discount the efforts of the aspiring filmmakers, but with a wider margin…
The Belko Experiment (2016)
Corporate horror, not to be confused with… well you know. Belko is an enormous soulless industrialized people-storage and application unit, what we refer to colloquially as a human resource company in Columbia. Looks great, you can’t pay me enough. It’s basically a penal colony with snack machines. You know the kinda place I’m talking about,…
Eden Lake (2008)
KTILF… it’s like a MILF but with a Kindergarten teacher. A KTILF and her KTOYFRIEND (not a real thing) go off to enjoy a romantic weekend in an abandoned British quarry. Oh dear hold me back you romantic devil you. They get there and oh no the abandoned quarry is now a construction site for…







